“Why Must a Woman Kick My Ass to be 'Strong'?”

I just watched “The Way of the Warrior,” a two-part Deep Space Nine episode, and enjoyed it as much as the first time I saw it six or seven years ago.

Wait. Allow me to amend that statement: I enjoyed it nearly as much.

My problems with it arose late in the second installment, when Klingon soldiers beamed into ops; in response, our heroes and heroines put up a spirited hand-to-hand defense, dropping a number of hulking invaders like the proverbial bad habit. Unfortunately, more than a few of these “victories” didn’t exactly ring true, even with my trusty Suspension of Reality Cap™ pulled down around my ears.

Perhaps over my eyes would have been better, as the entire scene reminded me of a particularly nettlesome pet peeve: Contemporary Star Trek, especially Deep Space Nine and Voyager, often shows female combatants standing toe-to-toe with their male opponents when such is often, even in the context of sci-fi/fantasy, completely ridiculous.

Now, clearly, certain peoples are blessed with superhuman strength and/or sturdier physiques (Vulcans and Klingons are primary examples), thus making sense of such occurrences. And there are, of course, plenty of individual exceptions: Seven of Nine, with her enhanced Borg musculature and tactical database, will make sure most of her enemies assimilate a serious ass-kicking. B’Elanna Torres’ hybrid heritage also allows for the administration of serious punishment. Hell, there’s a number of Liberty ladies with whom I would not mess, lest I become one: T’Vaar, T’Laris and Parihn, among others.

On the other hand, Bajorans, Trills and numerous other races are (insofar as physical strength and constitution is concerned) simply humans with funny noses, spots or other distinguishing F/X characteristics. Slender women like Kira Nerys and Jadzia Dax, for example, are not going to consistently kick the crap out of armored, well-trained troopers. Don’t even get me started with the combat capability of little blips like Ezri Dax and Kathryn Janeway. I could take either (or, probably, both) of them out with a sharp glare, let alone a crisp combination… and I’m old, slow and pudgy.

And no, that’s not pretension. It’s pragmatism.

Do I expect even these two tiny terrors to win when their opponent stupidly assumes incompetence just because they’re small? Sure; it happens. Would they occasionally get lucky, even against a moderately skilled enemy? I have no problem with that, either.

Should they more often, however, tumble helplessly to the ground in a fashion consistent with reality, having probably gone nighty-night as the result of a single well-placed blow?

Damn straight they should.

Klingon and Cardassian troopers spend much of their adult lives training to kill the enemy in an efficient manner. Against that, and them, Trek writers match women who couldn’t even hold a bat’leth over their heads for more than a few seconds, let alone wield it for minutes or even hours at a time. Yet they expect us to believe it when Kate and Ezri mow through their opposition like they’re not even there?

With all due respect to the female gender, if what I’ve said offends certain women... I don’t give a shit. I care far more about sense (the common type) than I do sensibility. If you watch these battles, and your “bullshit” detector doesn’t go off, well… your imagination takes you places mine just won’t go.

Can a woman of average or even petite physique win against a conditioned man consistently by using his strength against him and allowing the guy to defeat himself? Sure; martial arts such as aikido are based upon those principles. Hell, that's how some men win; Put a hold on your foe; redirect his force; fight smart. Such technique and philosophy works.

Can she, in contrast, stand blade-to-blade with him, out-muscling him, forcing him back, as Jadzia occasionally does with Worf (who could obviously break her in half) during their sparring? Don't insult my intelligence. [I’m flashing on Kathryn Janeway wielding such a weapon like a D’har master in the moronic “Unimatrix Zero,” and holding my gorge only with difficulty.]

I am not at all offended at the idea of a woman defeating a man. I am offended when human (and functionally human) females of a certain inappropriate build use what I’ll call “power moves” to drop a man, when those attempts would essentially leave them a smear on the deck plates. If Major Kira hit me the way she’s hit Klingons and laid them out, I’d have grinned… and knocked her into next week.

As The Odd Couple’s Oscar Madison once said, "Brains without brute force in football leave a lot of cleat marks on the back of your head."

In a fight, well… it’s boot prints… and moot points.